My Life, A Cocktail

Finally met a friend today, close to my heart, who I had never before had a proper face to face conversation with. Had an amazing lunch at Rajdhani. Watched 3 idiots, and completely enjoyed it. A void still waiting to be filled. A phone conversation awaits…

Like the grain that struggles between the mortar and the pestle. Both equally stubborn, working against each other. Its her destiny to transform.

We went to Dosai Place today. A nice Indian Vegetarian restaurant in Santa Clara. It wasn’t our first time, and I have always been pleased with their dishes. Tonight, hubby and me decided to go for idlis. Yes, we have been quite stressed through the week, and when we are stressed, we eat. Eat something utterly simple, filling and delicious. What better than idlis. Now, Dosai Place has 4 different idli items on their menu. One’s a simple 3 idlis thing. The other’s Vijaywada idli, basically idlis soaked in ghee, and then they have the Ghee Sambhar idli, which is mini idlis swimming in a bowl of ghee sambhar. The last one is Kanjeevaram Idli, which is idlis with nuts or something like that. Four choices in Idlis is quite a variety. But hubby insisted he was going to ask for something not in the menu. He wanted idlis (the big ones) soaked in sambhar, instead of sambhar as a side. They refused. No matter how much hubby insisted, they plainly refused. They suggested they would provide us wit...

I do. A lot. A fresh piece of white paper and a newly sharpened pencil can do magic on my brain. It instantly positions the graphite on the paper and sketches away… The whole world ceases to exist; the deadlines of life just wait, as the doodle takes center stage. The outcome is a pretty piece of what I like to call “art”, but can’t quite be defined. The best of dictionaries fail. There is no name for that thing drawn so beautifully on paper. Its the time I know bliss, its like meditation.

After a few boring weekends and stressful weekdays, I have taken to reading. I mean regularly. Reading keeps me happy, and I feel a sense of accomplishment as I reach the end of each book. It also brings the anticipation of my next visit to Barnes and Noble. I have been avoiding the temptation of stepping into that bookstore for so long, coz I already had a stack of unfinished books! In the past week, I finished Bollywood Nights by Shobha De and Memories of my Melancholy Whores by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. I enjoyed both. I am currently reading Fasting, Feasting by Anita Desai. Hubby never gets it. He doesn’t quite see why I would want to spend time at Barnes and Noble, rather than go to IKEA. I try hard to explain, it makes me live experiences that I may never get a chance to live in my life. “Go watch a movie!” he would say. I look forward to my allocated reading time every night. Of course, it means sacrificing certain other things, but that is fine…. I also know I might not be able t...

Certain people in your life… who have always tormented you, and I mean always, and yet you are totally crazy about them? Almost like you love them for being such a pain? Its happened to me… and I always felt like such an idiot, until I started to watch HOUSE. He’s like that too, he a great diagnostician, but is a pain to almost everybody in the hospital. And yet, people in and out of the drama, absolutely adore him. I am not crazy… it happens…

It was a thoroughly thought out plan. I was to make multiple sweets this Diwali, all from scratch, no ready-made mixes allowed. The reasoning behind such a plan was, as we were growing up, sweet making for Diwali was a major part of the celebration. Yes, there were the fireworks and all, but I loved the few days before the actual festival, spent shopping and cooking, as the excitement of the festival day grew. The aroma of raisins fried in ghee, the grinding of elaichi, sitting around the table making laddoos, the decisions of kolam designs, the new dresses adorned with turmeric… The sweets changed through the years as me and my sister’s tastes changed, but sweet making and certain other things remained. There were always laddoos. It was always idlis for breakfast on Diwali mornings. And that’s how its going to be this Diwali. There is going to be laddoos and there will be idlis… I love my mom to have kept up the tradition. I love me to be continuing it…

I am thinking about this phrase. How some people want you to be under their “wing”. They probably derive their sense of pride and individuality from the quality of people they collect under their wing. They want you to say “Yes” to everything they say, and “No” to anything anyone else says. They want their minds to own yours. I am learning to break through wings, slowly but surely…

I feel like I hang in the balance. Yes, the kinds that the Lady Justice (Andha Kanoon) holds. I sit at one side of the balance. And I am waiting, anticipating…. I don’t know what the lady is going to place on the other side…. Will I sink, or will I survive?

After months of wait and patiently watching and re-watching the older episodes, Season 9 is finally here. Hubby tuned in 2 hours earlier than the telecast time and ordered no playing with the remote, lest we miss it. Yes, such was the excitement. The 2 hour premiere was more than just entertaining. It was a whole new perspective about Dr. House, the doctor who we know can diagnose unfathomable conditions is himself a patient at an asylum. With almost no known characters, save House and Wilson, it seemed like a story in itself, with a start and an end. A sinusoidal roller coaster ride of humor and grief. The good news is Dr. House is back. And I mean, back at his hospital from the asylum. I am sure the fans are grateful.

This is a drink the coffee machine in our office can make. It takes one packet of Creamy Topping, and one packet of Choco. Out comes this delicious drink that tastes like good old “Bournvita”. It’s funny, I hated Bournvita (and Boost and Ovaltine) as a kid. I was more of a Horlicks Elaichi or just plain filter coffee kinda kid. And yet, now, almost every cold afternoon (the damn AC works perfectly!), I love to hold a steaming cup of Chocochinno in my hands, and feel the drink draining down my throat, providing me the warmth even relationships fail in these days. I love the taste of it now. It reminds me of the days I hated it, lovely days...

Every game will get boring if you play it too much. Every book will get boring if you read it too much. Every song will get boring if you hear it too much. That’s why people keep changing.

It starts with this slight pain at the back of your head that you can’t quite place. You feel nauseas. You think lowering the brightness of your computer screen will help, it does, only for a while. The pain intensifies, sometimes coming in short bursts. You just want to close your eyes and let your world be dark.

Created my data blog @ http://datapursuit.blogspot.com

People always prioritize people. They draw a border between the prioritized and the others. And then they distribute powers among the important ones. Some are given the power to make you happy. Some are given the power to hurt. Some are given the power to bring about fear. Some are given a little of everything. It is the peoples’ job to utilize their powers.

It had been a while we had wanted to go. We finally decided it was going to be this weekend, which was also the fee free weekend in most national parks. I was up as soon as the alarm sounded at 5am. It’s amazing, on normal working days, it takes a series of alarms spaced at 15 minute intervals to get me going. The giant sequoias beckoned. We packed a small backpack with the basic necessities, a towel, caps, water, gatorade and sunscreen. We took the longer but “scenic” CA-198 route to the sequoias, ignoring the several annoying attempts of the GPS to lead us onto CA-180. It was almost noon when we finally arrived at our first stop. The General Sherman Tree is the largest living tree in the world by volume, about 2300 years old. The top of the tree is dead, and so it has ceased growing taller, but it continues to add enough volume for a whole new tree each year. From the parking at the Upper Sherman parking lot, it’s a 0.4 mile hike down (212 feet elevation change) to the Sherman tree. ...

Me: Who are you talking to? My head: You! Are you listening? Me: But you are me, and I am you… My head: Then how can I talk to you? Me: But you are… My head: So you think I am different from you? Me: If you are not me, then who am I? My head: It’s always about you isn’t it? Me: I am so glad I am not you, you are mean! My head: Oh yea, you wanna know who’s mean? Remember the time you… Me: Man, why did I ever let you get so close to me! My head: SILENT Me: SILENT

Spot 5 shooting stars atop Saratoga Hills, as part of the Perseids meteor shower last night. Yay!!! Love ya hubby for taking me!

It’s nice to have a timetable. To have each moment of the day planned out. To boast about how you know where each penny went. Feels organized, so cool na? And then, after a few weeks, it gets boring. Why live the same life over and over again?

Often in life, you have to stand up to what you believe is right. No matter who that upsets, no matter which relationships end, no matter what gains turn into losses. It is amazing how inspite of all the consequences, it reinforces your beliefs, your principles and suddenly makes the gone by years seem meaningful. Everyone deserves a boost of confidence.

Sweet talks In glimpses and long stares Breezy walks Arms that care One house, one family Responsibility More love amidst tears Fear Broken down and weary Solitary Left with only memories Ordinary

We often want the wrong things in life. And we don’t realize that until a long time has gone by. Most people are constantly after something. May be it gives them some meaning to attach to their otherwise meaningless lives. Why don’t people look around themselves for a minute and realize that all they really want in life is what they already have? Baah!

We had been to Reno this last long weekend. As we set foot on their biggest casino floor, we knew we were going to spend most of our time and energy and money on the Blackjack tables. Preparations for this day started months back. Me and Karthi had painstakingly sifted through numerous reading material on blackjack strategy and had concluded that wiki was the way to go. Since then we had spent considerable time reading and re-reading the strategy tables, and practicing them on IPhone blackjack apps and practice sites on the Internet. We swore to stick to the strategy rules, which, by now, we knew like the back of our hands. Now and then, we would murmur amongst ourselves, “Eight and Five, Thirteen, Dealer has Five, I should Stand right?” “Yes, go by the rules!” “Oh, no, the dealer won!” “But you did the right thing! You followed the rules! Don’t let emotion sway you!” Life is so much like a blackjack game. There is a strategy to live by, constructed by those who were previously success...

With dreams in his eyes Just like any one of us He walked in with his guitar No glamour, no fuss. His hair a shabby golden He wore his cap the wrong way They laughed and smirked at his profession An unemployed farmer is all they found deserving to say. Show us what you got they screamed And obeying, he started to sing Every word was real it seemed And every note the crowned king. Eyes widened as the masks fell off in shame He stood proud and glorious A standing ovation to his name Oh yes, he's going to Las Vegas.

If it were all about telling the truth always, life would have been a lot easier. We almost constantly go through this decision making process through the day. We have to choose between telling the truth and state things as they are, or lie. Or may be reach a middle ground, truth that is ever so slightly altered? It is amazing. Someone asks you a question, and your brain weighs priorities, evaluates pros and cons, reviews immediate and future consequences and examines the emotional effects of each decision. It digs up past, present and future impressions, any related experience is made part of the decision making process. Each decision is then assigned a score, based on which the winning decision is then converted into syllables and intonations that liberate from your mouth. No, it’s not over. The brain’s now intently focusing on the other being’s eyes and body language. It now has to evaluate if the decision had all the intended consequences. Always give your brain more work, so it st...

Discovered this song yesterday at my niece's dance recital. Beautiful dancing, beautiful song... To the Software Engineering clan of Silicon Valley... Slow Me Down - Emmy Rossum

I am bored, and frustrated. The only thing I have been doing to pass time is to watch time pass. It’s Friday night, there is a lot of look forward to. But a certain amount of time has to pass, it has to be lived, whether you like it or not, whether you want it or not, to get to that moment of ecstasy when my phone will ring, and hubby will say “I am here!”. Oh time, dear time, will you not rush tonight?

What makes humans different? I am not sure there is a better answer than “Circumstances”. Just because all the drivers who took the freeway this morning with me drove safe, I am happily sitting in my cubicle writing this. Had I met with an accident, I would have been filled with extreme guilt or rage, depending on who was at fault. Yes, our lives are so interdependent on other people, even strangers, who share the planet with us. Strange, but true, they possess some control over our lives, and we over theirs. And the cumulative effect of each individual exercising his/her control is what generates a “circumstance”. Do you see God yet? Yes, I think I see HIM.

So, Saya dear, a long long time ago, tagged me on writing this one. So here goes... 1. I have my own crazy names for people and things I adore. Usually ending with a "chu". 2. The only bad habit I will ever acknowledge is biting my nails. 3. For some reason, the mystery woman in my head, I always picture running. 4. I can never picture the aerial view of a place while on road, it almost seems impossible. 5. I am always explaining things to myself when I walk. With little sound and lots of actions. 6. I find it really hard to eat breakfast before a shower. Eating before brushing is incongrous. 7. I will always fall if I hold the brake on the bicycle. I am much better with cars. 8. I have coffee cravings all the time. 9. My only philosophy that hasn't changed over time -- "Life is balanced". 10. I can always make up bumble bee and itsy bitsy spider stories to tell kids. 11. I love balloons. And the rainbow. And the moon. 12. I will chew a vethallai forever. 13. I ...

It’s the cutest movie I have seen in quite some time. I love animation, but this is probably one of my best 3-D experiences. (Apart from the Shrek 4-D show in Universal Studios, LA and the “Walking on the Moon” IMAX film at the Kennedy Space Center, Orlando) To me, it’s a movie for grown ups. Kids will possibly love the humor and cuteness of it all, but only grown ups can appreciate the beauty of the smallest of details captured. The rocky structures of the Angel Falls feel so real, you almost want to touch it! To see so many balloons, bright and rising the house up in the air almost satiates every balloon lover’s dream. Ellie’s little book of adventure is that little corner of each of our minds where our deepest desires reside. A must see.

I had this as my Gtalk status message months ago, the days I used to actually set a Gtalk status message. Many people pinged me for many months afterwards saying they felt the same way at some point in their lives. Life is inherently boring. We just keep trying to find things to do, just so that we can derive our own nice meaning out of it, drape it in the blanket of accomplishment, and cozily stay put. Some people work. Some make other people work. Some climb the Everest. Some take an year long sabbatical and see the world. Some paint. Some jump off airplanes. Some write books. Some just go to the spa. All in an attempt to be busy, to be distracted, to feel important, lest boredom makes you feel like crap. Makes me think, the ancient Indian saints meditated over months simply because they realized the truth about boredom. To a lot more boring days … P.S. I feel less bored after this post :-)

HOUSE: The universe always settles the score. Cuddy: Does it? HOUSE: No, it should.

I watched the entire Oscars without interruption. Most women of my age and over will understand, how impossible that can get at times. Slumdog millionaire won 8 oscars. Rehman won 2 of them. He performed on the Oscar stage. When it won the best picture award, Danny Boyle, Dev, Frieda, Anil Kapoor, Irfan Khan, and all the kids, stood proud on the Oscar stage. I lived the moment with them, just like I lived every moment of the movie. I loved the movie, and I already have a post that explains it. So I wont go into that. But here are some comments made by some logical people I know. My thoughts are interleaved. "I would have been happier if it was an Indian directed movie." It may have been nominated in the Foreign Film category, and the Japanese would have won it anyways. "We need a British to get us Oscars." We were given a chance with Slumdog, and the 8 oscars speak for themselves. Whatever, I enjoyed watching the Oscars, I had fun cheering for Slumdog, and end of th...

Well, what can I say. A perfect movie. The right blend of sadness, joy, humor and anger. More importantly, unfairness. Movies like these remind me of the same old question: Why? Didn't we grow up with the notion of do good, and good will happen to you? As adults, you would look at that little box at an Indian hole in the wall restaurant, and read "Tipping is Good Karma". Whether you believe it or not, you toss in a dollar. But is life always fair? As I watched the movie, as I devoured each character potrayed, I lived their life for that moment. And at the end of it, I wondered, what if I was born as one of them? I can't dismiss it saying it was just a film. It is reality. I don't know if it is written or not. But if it is, I hope its fair.