My Life, A Cocktail

I am the mother of the black and the white For I don't differentiate between colors or forms I am for the world, an inspiring guide Whilst I be guided by the world and it's norms. I am the one that leaves footprints on sand In hopes of leaving a legacy behind And I am also the one that surges on demand To wash away all that was once mine. I am the one that is all encompassing and powerful That can create, maintain and destroy But I am also that speck in the sand so colorful Living with full involvement and pure joy.

Give to me, what life has to offer. I will welcome it all, with open arms. I will crane my neck to seek out new opportunities and live every moment as it is meant to be. I will not avoid, I will not disown and I will not shy away. For I will not be born again, not in this shape or form. So let me celebrate the life that this is, since my time here is too short. Why be afraid, why worry, I tell myself. I tell myself that this time, this space and all that matters is fleeting. Ups and downs, downs and ups, there will always be, it’s the rhythm of life. Why be afraid, why worry, it shan’t solve anything for me. Release it all to what surrounds you. Since you are simply a manifestation of truth, the truth that is you and all around you. Let it go, be free, for holding on to it is a misconception after all.

It feels the same, as though nothing has changed. As though, time has just stood still and it’s just another one of the old days. Like somehow all the days and months that have passed between now and then have just disappeared without a trace.  And yet, in the sameness of it all, amidst all the familiarity, there is something different. And I realize, the difference is not external. I cannot deny the fact that I have changed with time, with the days and months in between. I can’t deny that this is not my life anymore and the fact that I changed it to be what it is now, and for a reason. And it feels good to know that.  They say no matter how much you grow in life, no matter how far you go, you shouldn’t lose touch of your past. The past shapes you. So I am grateful for such opportunities, to be where I had once been, to reflect a little, bask in that innocence, albeit for a short while. 

People always prioritize people. They draw a border between the prioritized and the others. And then they distribute powers among the important ones. Some are given the power to make you happy. Some are given the power to hurt. Some are given the power to bring about fear. Some are given a little of everything. It is the peoples’ job to utilize their powers.

Me: Who are you talking to? My head: You! Are you listening? Me: But you are me, and I am you… My head: Then how can I talk to you? Me: But you are… My head: So you think I am different from you? Me: If you are not me, then who am I? My head: It’s always about you isn’t it? Me: I am so glad I am not you, you are mean! My head: Oh yea, you wanna know who’s mean? Remember the time you… Me: Man, why did I ever let you get so close to me! My head: SILENT Me: SILENT

Often in life, you have to stand up to what you believe is right. No matter who that upsets, no matter which relationships end, no matter what gains turn into losses. It is amazing how inspite of all the consequences, it reinforces your beliefs, your principles and suddenly makes the gone by years seem meaningful. Everyone deserves a boost of confidence.

Sweet talks In glimpses and long stares Breezy walks Arms that care One house, one family Responsibility More love amidst tears Fear Broken down and weary Solitary Left with only memories Ordinary

We often want the wrong things in life. And we don’t realize that until a long time has gone by. Most people are constantly after something. May be it gives them some meaning to attach to their otherwise meaningless lives. Why don’t people look around themselves for a minute and realize that all they really want in life is what they already have? Baah!

What makes humans different? I am not sure there is a better answer than “Circumstances”. Just because all the drivers who took the freeway this morning with me drove safe, I am happily sitting in my cubicle writing this. Had I met with an accident, I would have been filled with extreme guilt or rage, depending on who was at fault. Yes, our lives are so interdependent on other people, even strangers, who share the planet with us. Strange, but true, they possess some control over our lives, and we over theirs. And the cumulative effect of each individual exercising his/her control is what generates a “circumstance”. Do you see God yet? Yes, I think I see HIM.