My Life, A Cocktail

With an empty bag of questions I wander In search of answers. Trying to find meaning Associating logic Inside hollows. Explaining nature Deriving proofs Of the abstract.

Sometimes there is a need to inherit. Coz not all things in life can be taught, and a lot of things that can be, you don’t always get an opportunity to learn. I am especially proud of having inherited discipline from my mom. No, I am not talking of the kind that military schools enforce, I am talking about the discipline that most moms have, the discipline of organization, the discipline of efficiency, the discipline of being economical, the discipline of home making and keeping. I have been lucky to have such a mom, and unlucky to not have learnt whenever she taught. But today, as I cook in my kitchen, I realize, I sure have inherited a hell lot. I am not the tidiest lot when it comes to it really, but the little I have, I owe to my mom. I can’t use a spoon and leave it there for someone else to clean. I can’t chop vegetables exactly the way they are not supposed to be chopped. I can cook without having half the ingredients required, and can remember to use all if I have them. I can’t

I don’t know what gripped me, but I crawled on my knees, across the expanse of my empty living room. It felt difficult, my knees already felt weak, and a rising pain shot through my leg. “What’s wrong with you?” I said to myself. “You could do this even as a kid!” Fortunately or otherwise, I had grown up. And little things like crawling and so many other things, weren’t practical anymore. I laughed at myself. “Grown up! Yeah, right!” Grown up meant having to make plans, and even worse, make them happen. Grown up meant to keep track of every cent you spent, and still be dumbfounded with the mystery of the missing five hundred bucks when the spreadsheets didn’t tally at the end of every month. Grown up meant being condemned for making the silliest of mistakes. Grown up meant having hurried lunches and dinners and breakfasts. Grown up meant forgetting birthdays, even your own, even worse, not believing in the celebration anymore. Grown up meant saying things you hardly meant, and hearing

I can smile, and talk and make them believe That I am in total awe of their appeal Underneath my worn out mask you can see A bitter face, and a bitter me. For, some relationships you need to keep Despite the fact you don’t believe Can’t give them a whiff of your thoughts Can’t show them their flaws. And they are nice to you too They have their masks too So you hug and kiss, as people gaze Some in awe, some in rage. Someday I’ll get tired and weary And have the guts to be solitary That day I’ll tear off my mask and cease And witness my friends become enemies.

Balloons, different colors, the ones that fly with no sense of gravity unless you constrain them to your limits. Bunches of them, all huddled up next to each other like they could sense the chill outside, and the coldness inside. Kids jumped now and then, in an attempt to reach them. Others just passed by, indifferently, occasionally grazing them, and the balloons would just move to let the people have their space. They blended in so well with the ambience that no one even cared to notice. And yet these balloons existed for a purpose. They made the place lively, happy. Not being able to take the insensitivity, a balloon bursts. Everyone looks up instantly.

With every ripple I see in the water A bright sunflower With new hope and power. Translate: For every problem I encounter in life, when I look inside myself, when I introspect, I find a new thought, a new idea, a new way of living life. For puzzles lovers like me. Sun Ripple Jigsaw Puzzle

"God does not believe in atheists, therefore atheists do not exist." This was a quote I read on my way to some relatives place. My funny brain shuffled a word, and came up with this. God does not believe in atheists, therefore God does not exist.