My Life, A Cocktail

It happened in haste. The change was inevitable, and it was such that had promised misery. But as all things happen silently, the transition too got lost amidst people and their views. A month down the lane, in the kitchen, making myself a steaming cup of coffee, I suddenly remind myself of my pending share of disappointment. I have to feel sad. To say I miss the past, is normal. So I start on my journey, looking at things of the present, imagining them replaced by the past, and there I am, happily smiling.... Till the time I get bored.....

As I walked, the ice cracked under my feet. There was snow everywhere, and the pathways were all frozen. The wind was blowing, and I struggled to keep my scarf intact. The chill was numbing me, and my reassuring mind kept telling me that I was almost there. As I passed by the buildings, I noticed it. It was a dry earth colored leaf that stood out, like it had grown on snow and not on soil, amazingly straight. I wondered how it survived. All the leaves, I knew, had long fallen out, and the descent of the flakes had caressingly buried each one of them. And yet this leaf, different from the rest, did not seem to have succumbed. I wondered about me. When the fall comes, under the snow, I don’t want to be.

"Do you drink?" "No. And I never want to." "Oh com'on. You should try it someday..." This is how it all starts. I am sure a lot of you agree with me, and perhaps have had similar conversations. But one question that has haunted many a non-drinkers is, "Why do people drink?" We live in a conscious world. We are aware, always. Not in the spiritual sense though, but people are always necessarily thinking about other people. What people think, say and do, matters. In this conscious world, there is no room for moments of embarrasment, or stupidity. All you care about is, looking good. Living this constrained life, the mind often feels vexed. The thought of freedom feels like the gateway to salvation. But breaking the rules of the conscious world is unacceptable. And then you drink. And as the divine liquid flows down into you, uniting with the juice of existence, suddenly, you sense no rules. The conscious world poses like a theatre of jokers, and...