My Life, A Cocktail

It was the day she realized she would be constantly on this journey to find herself. A journey she had undertaken so long ago she hardly remembered, always wanting to reach the destination. She dreamed of that moment of clarity where she would comprehend who she truly was. But today, a different realization had dawned on her and it felt right. This was a journey, and as the cliché goes, a journey to be enjoyed in itself, regardless of the when and what of the destination. She was an evolving being, evolving with every tough circumstance, evolving with every bad memory, evolving with every regret. Her form was shifting constantly and all she needed to pay heed to was that it was shifting for the good, to be better than her previous self. And just like that, life had served to her in a pretty little platter, her purpose.  

Every waking moment, you have a choice. Of minimizing regret. We hardly think of the present in such a way, as a way of impacting our future, our children's future. We have somehow successfully disillusioned ourselves and have come to believe that the key decisions we make in life are thoroughly vetted, talked through and rationalized at important phases of our lives. By compartmentalizing thus, we fail to realize that it is these very passing moments that accumulate to become our life. What we do here and now is something we will either be proud of down the line, or something we will regret. It's like that game where your only choice is to play as the timer ticks on, without a pause button. So how will YOU spend this moment?

Someone said something referencing me. I spent hours thinking it over, again and again, until I had completely convinced myself that the comment was offensive and uncharacteristic of me. Slowly but surely, my mind worked its way to build a little pile of grudge for this person in question, that I could be duly reminded of every time this person came into view. And then, I stop in my tracks. No, that is not how life is meant to be lived! I have said this numerous times, life is fleeting, everything is transient. Shouldn’t his words be the same? Without having had the time or the inclination to have touched me, words spoken, absorbed and disappeared into the air that surrounds him and me. Much ado about nothing. Let it go.

Sometimes we take pride in being busy. When a caring friend or family member asks us, “How have you been?”, we retort without a thought, “Busy!”. It’s not a competition. There is no joy in being busy when you cannot take the time to reflect on yourself, pause to admire the new word your kid’s just learnt or be patient to listen to your spouse’s full question before blurting out a response. Instead, let’s take pride in being free. Let’s take pride in being able to make time.